— Every minister and every volunteer who works with children and youth should undergo a thorough criminal background check and be required to attend an annual boundary awareness workshop/review. — All churches need clear policies regarding online and social media communications for clergy and laity. — If you think you are above and beyond the need for clear boundaries, you probably have a problem.
The headlines are relentless. I wince every time I hear of a minister violating sexual or moral boundaries. I listen sadly as clergy describe unrealistic demands placed upon them by their congregation. Over the years I have seen the great harm inflicted on congregants and clergy alike by boundary violations.
As preparation for our offering something similar, I recently attended my first-ever boundaries workshop. Wow!
I already knew that boundary violations have become a pressing issue in ministry settings. I knew that clergy over-functioning and laity under-functioning (and vice versa) are a lethal mix. I knew that a minister with a messiah complex can be deadly.
I knew from personal experience how sick clergy can be. I knew about laity who think they own the minister and his/her family. I knew from experience what it feels like to be a victim of boundary violations. I knew this topic is one that most of us would rather not address.
But here is what I didn’t know.
I had not realized how pervasive this issue is for the 21st century church. I had not realized how reluctant we have been to confront the congregational systems we have built that have enabled and even encouraged fuzzy boundaries. I had grown insensitive to how vulnerable every minister is to a multitude of temptations.
I had not stopped to take in how many men and women, boys and girls have had their lives harmed by boundary violators. I needed to be reminded that for all the good that clergy can do for the sake of the kingdom, an unhealthy minister has the capacity to inflict pain and harm that will carry its poison far into the future.
Now I know, and I can’t un-know what I know.
I’ve tried to capture my thoughts as I mull over the implications of clear and healthy boundaries for clergy and congregations alike.
— Boundaries are our friends. Just as clear rules make a game more enjoyable for all the participants, clear boundaries make congregational life richer and more Christ-like for all.
— The personal and internal issues that every minister deals with have significant impacts on the way he or she lives out their calling in the church.