I used to avoid using 5th gear in our manual transmission car just because it frightened me. I asked my husband, “How could I stop the car suddenly from such a high gear?” He wisely said, “The same way you stop it in 1st gear.”

(Editor’s Note:  This was originally published as a three part series; we have accumulated all three together for the convenience of our readers.)

Candidating: Am I Mrs. Right? Part I

Most of us do not marry someone after seeing him only one or two times. And yet, many pastors “marry” a church under similar circumstances. The candidating process leading to this marriage can be stressful for both the one searching for a place to minister and the committee searching for a minister.

I am on a church search committee, and I know that both parties have much in common. For example, we have questions similar to those we ask before marriage. Is this God’s will? Are we a compatible match? What happened in the previous relationship? Will he/they love me once we see each other’s faults?

However, it encourages me that all of us are working to glorify Christ in this decision. And, the committee isn’t concerned with some of the minor things you may be worried about. So, if you find yourself as the wife of a man who is looking for his first church or his fourth, please be encouraged. Together, we are embarking on a new adventure.

You have Someone by your side. We know that God is working salvation in His children, including you. All the details are part of His plan. God moved you and your husband to take this step. He is at your side as you two send out resumes and are interviewed. God will continue to help you in the future even if candidating doesn’t turn out the way you expect. See Philippians 1:6.

We are praying for you. There is something very attractive about being part of an entire church’s particular prayer request. Most churches really want the right shepherd to lead them. So, they will ask God to guide both the search committee and the applicants. The body may not know your name, but it is praying for you. The committee prays for you, too. See James 1:5.

You have someone else by your side. You play a supporting role in this endeavor, but you have your husband to lean on, as well. Being married to a man who is paid to read the Bible, among other things, is an advantage when important decisions are made. This man chose you to be his wife. If the search committee thinks your husband makes wise choices, it will approve of you, too. See Genesis 2:24.

We didn’t even notice. None of the people in my church have all the biblical answers to all of life’s problems. Ditto for the search committee. Therefore, we are not looking for you to be the “Bible Answer Woman.” And, guess what? Our children are not perfect; neither is our hair. We don’t expect you to have those things either. Furthermore, we won’t require you to speak Greek or write Ugaritic.
See I Samuel 16:7b.
Please relax and realize that God is in control. Think of how He led you to meet your husband, who turned out to be Mr. Right. Now, He will guide you toward the church that is a good match for you.

Candidating: Is This the Right Church? Part II

When considering a move to minister in a new place, some applicants look for the perfect situation. Pleasant location, climate and cultural offerings. Ivy league-caliber schools. Lots of zeros on the paycheck. A church with no problems and a large building. As my husband might say, “Good luck with that.”

Only God’s will is perfect. In reality, there is no perfect church and no perfect minister. Search committees strive to give an honest picture of their church, and they hope the candidates don’t miss seeing how God is furthering His kingdom in that place. A candidate and his wife need to seek God’s good, acceptable and perfect will in this move, not some human ideal. (See Romans 12:2)

There is something more important than comfort zones. On a university campus, students hang out with people who look and act just like they do. The Asian serious students and the party-loving frat guys stay in their respective comfort zones and don’t benefit from what the other group can contribute.

Women in ministry can’t cling to a comfort zone. They know God calls them to be part of the body of Christ where not everyone is exactly alike. It is also part of God’s design for His children to need each other. God may bring a ministry couple to a church where the members look and think in a different way than they do. These Christians are the very ones who need the couple’s unique gifts to grow in faith. (See I Corinthians 12:21.)

God equips those He calls. I used to avoid using 5th gear in our manual transmission car just because it frightened me. I asked my husband, “How could I stop the car suddenly from such a high gear?” He wisely said, “The same way you stop it in 1st gear.”

Women may feel unprepared to minister to an unfamiliar people. But God, in His infinite wisdom, equips His children for what He calls them to do. Whatever circumstances and experiences He brought into their lives up until this point are important for what happens beyond this point. In that sense, a ministry woman is perfectly prepared for the church where God wants her to be. God builds on what He already taught her. (See Hebrews 13:21)

The grass is greener for a reason. Can you relate to a sheep staring longingly at the greener grass over on the other side? I once heard someone quip that all the other sheep who tried out that grass had been eaten by a wolf.

Sometimes a ministry couple is discontent with their current situation. It is hard for them to accept that God wants them to stay because another church seems so good compared to the current, imperfect church. The right church for that pastor may be the one he already has. God might show this to him through the lack of a call. The reason is not always known, but it is still God’s perfect will. (See Philippians 4:11)

People and places are not perfect. And yet, God uses the imperfect to show His own perfection. Ultimately, if a couple goes in faith to where God calls them, the minister and the ministered-to will enjoy God’s favor. That is better than a church with no problems.

Candidating: Is There a Right Way? Part III

The wife of an applicant or pastoral candidate can help him communicate clearly to a search committee in his applications, interviews and meetings. The spiritual dimension is the most important aspect of the search. Pastor and congregation compatibility has a part to play, as well.
Because the search committee is chosen to represent the local church, its perspective is worthy of consideration. Here is some of what I learned about the search committee perspective (SCP) by being on one.
Be selective. There are many people who need a job… any job. They use the shotgun approach of sending out dozens of applications.
SCP: We want a man who is interested in loving and serving our particular church (See John 10:11-13). So, if we are a church of 100 people in a rural area of North Dakota seeking an associate pastor, we won’t give much time to an applicant who has a number one priority to be a senior pastor in a large eastern city. He wouldn’t be happy here.
Follow directions. Pastors are busy people. While candidating, they breathe a sigh of relief when they get that application in the send box.
SCP: We are impressed when we receive a complete packet of all the materials we require, including a cover letter, forms and references, before the deadline. It is easier for us to compare applicants fairly that way. Plus, men who take the time to send us what we ask for may be more responsible in their ministry to us.
Be honest. When he doesn’t have the required level of experience, the applicant may be tempted to change questions on the pre-printed form.
SCP: Because we have the questions memorized, we read only the answers. The applicant should answer “no” to “Are you ordained?” if he is not ordained. He shouldn’t substitute another question like “Are you licensed to preach?” in order to say “yes.”
Use caution with humor. Our best friends laugh at all our jokes. However, humor can be a subjective thing.
SCP: We want to get to know this man better and laugh with him. But right now, we don’t know if the candidate’s off-hand comment was meant to be serious, sarcastic, clever or funny.
Anticipate assumptions. When you experience a painful situation, it is hard to talk about it.
SCP: We are reasonable people; we know that everyone has scars. We prefer to hear about it from the pastoral candidate, up front. Otherwise, we fill in the blanks with our imagination. For example, when one of his references makes a vague comment about that “messy business in the Anchorage church,” the search committee might speculate on its meaning.
Do your homework. The Internet makes finding out about a church’s ministries and style of worship easier than ever. In addition, we are happy to send a church profile.
SCP: 1) We want this to be a good match. If our church worships with electric guitars and drums, and the applicant prefers exclusive psalmody, we might not be comfortable with each other. 2) We want this man to be interested in us. If he asks specific, meaningful questions about the life of the church, he will be endeared to us.
Say what you believe with conviction. In our culture, some people tell prospective employers what they want to hear to get the job or to avoid being considered intolerant.
SCP: Our church will ask the new pastor to preach the truth of God’s word and do other hard things. We are sinners, and he will have to point that out occasionally. Sometimes, we will not like to hear it. But, we know that God wants our pastor to speak the truth even if it is unpopular. (See I Timothy 4:11-13)

Patsy Evans has a B.A. in Journalism from Penn State University.  She is married to Brad Evans who is the long-term pastor of the Presbyterian Church of Coventry (PCA) in Coventry, CT. Patsy blogs, along with her daughter, at Sunday Women where this article first appeared; it is used with permission