Pray your church is a place where confessed sin is seen as a godly triumph. Yes, there should be consequences—especially if the sin is particularly severe and the servant is in a particularly public ministry. But don’t gloss over the fact God kindly brought it into the open. Your leaders now have the opportunity to demonstrate the grace and mercy of God.
When A Servant Struggles with Pornography
Churches are chock-full of sinners. We know that. We’re all sinners. Churches are also chock-full of servants. You know what that means, right? Those servants are sinners, too.
But what happens when sinner-servants stumble into pornography? Churches have deacons with biblical qualifications to meet (1 Tim. 3:8–13). But we also have volunteers serving without a title. It could be the gal playing violin on stage, the elderly man greeting at the door, or the millennial working in the children’s ministry.
How should church leadership respond if it discovers a volunteer within the body has viewed pornography? I’m focused on someone who has expressed sorrow for his sin (2 Cor. 7:10–11) and is eager to demonstrate repentance. Of course, every instance is unique, and providing specific counsel without knowing the particulars would be foolish (this is why every local church should have elders who roll up their theological sleeves and ask this question).
Thankfully, God’s Word does give us principles to guide us when a servant of the church stumbles into pornography.
1. Remember it’s not the unforgivable sin (Matt. 12:31). Remind him this is yet one more reason he or she is in desperate need of God’s mercy. There is hope in the cross and resurrection (Rom. 6:1–14).
2. Don’t make light of the sin. Pornography comes in many forms, from a lingerie ad in a magazine to live videos. Whatever the degree, all sin is heinous. Make that clear. The tiniest sin is an affront to an infinitely holy God (James 2:10)
3. Gauge the severity of the sin. Jesus spoke of differing degrees of punishment (Luke 12:47–48). This implies some sins have greater consequences. This is an important principle. When sin is uncovered, a number of questions should be asked:
- What was the intensity of the pornography?
- Was this a one-time stumble or a pattern?
- If there is a pattern, what is the frequency?
- Is the confessor asking for help or was he or she outed?
- Is there a willingness to make war against sin or is there a spirit of defensiveness?
4. Require appropriate confession. Confession should be made to each offended party. In the case of a single, did she lie to a roommate? Did he use someone else’s computer? In the case of a married individual, does the spouse know? At this level, the confession of sin is private. The more confession, the more light, and the more light, the more willingness to make war against sin.
5. Urge the brother or sister to take extreme measures. If it’s better to gouge out the eye than give in to lust (Matt. 5:27–30), then it’s certainly better to lose the smart phone or disconnect the cable.
6. Ensure appropriate accountability. Sinners like to hide their sin. But revealing sin offers an opportunity to create systems and forge relationships that will make it harder for this sin to once more rear its ugly head.
7. If necessary, ask the person to step down from public service . There are several reasons you might want someone to step down for a season. For example, the confessed sin may have been particularly severe and the volunteer service particularly public. All this makes ongoing service unwise.