Charles Haddon Spurgeon: Born June 19, 1834.  Died January 31, 1892.  Our objective is to distill some principles from his life that will help us in our homes.  What can we learn from Spurgeon’s upbringing?  What discoveries can be made as we consider how he and his wife Susannah brought up their children? Can we learn from how Spurgeon interacted with all children?  Are there principles that we might employ that will bring sweetness to our own families?  I believe that there are. 

 

Introductory Thoughts

 

Fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, sons and their wives, daughters and their husbands, and all of you, oh that the blessed Spirit would put you now into such a frame of mind that you should at once yield to the divine precept, which says, ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.’ (Vol. 23, p.61 MTP sermons).

The foolish person is one who will not listen and apply wise principles.  Especially we should learn from those who have lived before us and older people who live among us.  The Bible teaches that we are to remember the instruction of our fathers and communicate those lessons to present and future generations (Psalm 78:1-4).  The Bible also reminds us to “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God.  Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith” (Hebrews 13:7 ESV). Of course, in both instances the immediate references are to Old and New Testament people.  The Psalmist wanted his generation to learn the lessons of the Patriarchs.  The ultimate goal was that they might trace the hand of God’s providence through the history of Israel and as a result, worship God.  The writer of Hebrews had in mind teachers that had lead the church in former days.  Their lives were characterized by faithfulness in teaching the word of God and living by faith.  Such lives were (and are) worthy of imitation.

To remember, honor and imitate the faith of our fathers, we must look first to the characters of the Bible.  We must follow their godly example and learn from their failures.  However, the application certainly extends beyond the pages of the Bible and embraces the faithful throughout history.  Are we to be deaf to the voices and blind to the examples of Augustine, Wycliffe, Knox, Luther, Calvin, The Puritans, Whitfield, Edwards, Spurgeon and many others (past and present) who have exemplified a commitment to God?  The answer is a resounding, “No.” We are to learn from those who have gone before us and we are to listen to those who walk among us.

What follows is a brief summary of a few episodes in the life Charles Haddon Spurgeon.  Our objective is to distill some principles from his life that will help us in our homes.  What can we learn from Spurgeon’s upbringing?  What discoveries can be made as we consider how he and his wife Susannah brought up their children? Can we learn from how Spurgeon interacted with all children?  Are there principles that we might employ that will bring sweetness to our own families?  I believe that there are.  A few are contained below but I encouraged you to study Spurgeon for yourself.  You will find treasures that will help you as you learn from his example of living out the faith.

 

Glimpses from the Life of Charles Spurgeon About Parenting and Family Worship

It is impossible to precisely gauge the impact of parents and grandparents on their progeny.  Children first experience early words, mannerisms and attitudes from their parents.  Books on shelves, magazines around the home, music on the player, friends and especially religious influences all communicate messages to children about what is perceived to be important.

Such was the case with Charles H. Spurgeon.  Charles was born June 19, 1834, the first-born son of John and Eliza.  John was a faithful preacher in the manner of his Puritan heroes.  His mother was, according to James Spurgeon (brother of Charles), “…the starting point to all greatness and goodness that any of us, by the grace of God have enjoyed.”^[i]

Before his second birthday Charles was sent to live with his grandparents, Rev. and Mrs. James Spurgeon.   It was a help to his parents who likely were challenged financially, and since Eliza would give birth to another child just 18 months after Charles was born. Charles was being sent to a godly home where he would be loved, trained and exposed to rich literature.

James Spurgeon would be a towering influence in the life of young Charles.  He was a devoted Christian and pastor of a small flock in Stambourne. He had no ambition of leaving his relatively small church for larger charge.  He served the same congregation for 54 years and was beloved by his church and community.^[ii]

Young Charles was often at the side of his grandfather and learned much theology by way of discussions around the table between his grandfather and the deacons of the church.

His grandmother was a godly woman noted for her diligent study of Scripture.  “Charles long remembered her with her open Bible sitting by the great fireplace and speaking of the love of God.  One Sunday morning in the eventide of this devoted couple, she remarked to her old husband that she did not feel well, and would stay at home and read her Bible and pray, while he preached.  On his return he found her in the old armchair, her Bible spread out on her lap, her spectacles across it, her head bowed upon her breast, still in death.  Her finger rested upon Job 19:21: ‘The hand of God hath touched me!’ ^[iii]

In those early days at his grandparent’s home, an attic room intrigued Charles.  There he discovered treasures that would have a profound affect on the rest of his life.  Rev. James Spurgeon had collected some of the best books available at his time. They were at the disposal of Charles to read and learn. No doubt it was through reading at such a young age that the Lord began developing the mind of Charles. He often was so engrossed in his reading that it was difficult to get his attention for other things.  Literally from infancy he heard the Bible read and was exposed to great writers from the past and would become a voracious reader. He had several favorite books during childhood.  Even before he could read effectively he was amazed by the illustrations of John Bunyan’s book, Pilgrim’s Progress. It is estimated that he read Pilgrim’s Progress between 100 and 200 times over the course of his life.  Among many other books he also read Robinson Crusoe and Fox’s Book of Martyrs.

Young Charles would read Scripture and ask questions of his grandfather during family worship times.   Upon reading a passage from Revelation that speaks of the bottomless pit, Charles insisted, day after day, to know something of the meaning of that pit.  Finally, after days of being unable to quiet the curiosity of Charles, his grandfather spoke to him of that terrible place.  “I can remember the horror of my mind when my dear grandfather told me what his idea of the bottomless pit was.”  ‘There is a deep pit, and the soul is falling down–oh how fast it is falling!  There! The last ray of light at the top has disappeared, and it falls on-on-on, and so it goes falling on-on-on for a thousand years.  Is it getting near the bottom yet?  Won’t it stop?  No, no the cry is on-on-on.  I have been falling a million years; am I not near the bottom.  It is on-on-on. No, you are no nearer the bottom yet; it is the bottomless pit. It is on-on-on, and so the soul goes on falling perpetually into a deeper depth still, falling forever into the bottomless pit–on-on-on–into the pit, which has no bottom!  Woe, without home of its coming to a conclusion!’”^[iv]

He would leave his grandparent’s home and return to live with his parents around the age of seven or eight. His mind and heart was filled with love for his dear grandparents from whom he had learned so much.  He would often return to their home in Stambourne to visit with them during the holidays. When Charles was returned to his parents he found that the atmosphere was much the same as his grandparent’s home.  The home was godly, the Scriptures were read, loved and obeyed and he was exposed to good books.

Arnold Dallimore wrote of the Spurgeon family: “Life in the Spurgeon home was built around the Scriptures.  The Bible was not only read, but it was also believed with unquestioning assurance of its inerrancy. Likewise prayer was made in the full realization that God heard and would answer according to his sovereign will.  The standards of the Bible were joyfully accepted and dishonesty or malice of any kind was entirely unknown.  Life was serious but it was marked by humor and happiness.” ^[v]

John Spurgeon was sometimes concerned that he was failing his family due to church and other ministry responsibilities that often took him away from home.  However, upon returning home one night, with a heavy heart, he heard his dear wife leading family devotions and was much encouraged that his children were being well provided for.  He was able to return to his duties with confidence that his home was in good hands under the care of his beloved wife.  Later, when Charles would marry he, as well, would be blessed with a godly wife who could manage the affairs of a busy home during his extensive travels that were necessary in his ministry as well as the absences that occurred due to his health.

Dallimore writes, “Charles looked back on her (his mother) with deep affection and gratitude, and tells of her reading the Scriptures to her children and pleading with them to be concerned about their souls. ‘I cannot tell how much I owe to the solemn words of my good mother…’ ‘I remember on one occasion her praying thus, “‘Now Lord, if my children go on in their sins, it will not be from ignorance that they perish, and my soul must bear a swift witness against them in the day of judgment if they lay not hold of Christ.’” ‘The thought of my mother bearing a swift witness against me pierced my conscience…How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee, and with her arms about my neck, prayed, ‘Oh, that my son may live before Thee!’”^[vi]

Spurgeon said, “I have not the powers of speech to set forth my valuation of the choice blessing which the Lord bestowed on me in making me the son of one who prayed for me and prayed with me.” ^[vii]

“On Sunday evenings…mother and children sat around the table, and as they each read the Bible in turn, she would explain the passage, verse by verse, and then pray for them.  Afterwards she would read a passage or two from Richard Alleine’s ‘Alarm to the Unconverted,’ and press the points home to her children.”^[viii]

On the occasion of Charles’ fiftieth birthday celebration, his dear father John, filled with joy, spoke of family life.  He spoke of his own parents and told of how God had given him “a kind father and mother, who prayed very much for me, and their prayers were heard.”  He then shared how his wife and he had cared for Charles; “And my son has had a praying father and mother, and his mother’s prayers have been heard, and the Lord has taken care of him.  What a mercy it was that, that boy was converted when he was.”^[ix]

Charles responded to his father’s kind comments with honoring words of his own. “I may say that I did not originally choose him as my father; but if it had been left to my choice, no other should have filled his place.  May God bless him in his latter days.” ^[x]

Spurgeon was converted, baptized and was faithful in church membership and participation.  After serving as Pastor of a small church he accepted the call to London where he would serve the New Park Street Church as their Pastor. It was through the ministry of that church that he would meet a lovely lady named Susannah.

Susannah first heard Charles preach and thought him rather odd in preaching manner, hairstyle and choice of clothes.  However, it was not long before his godliness covered all of her perceived prejudices and she became increasingly interested in Charles, as did he with her.

A special event at the Crystal Palace marked a key turning point in their friendship.  Charles made it a point to sit at her table.  After some time they decided to go for a walk.  Susannah wrote: “We wandered together for a long time, not only in the wonderful building itself, but in the garden and even down to the lake…During that walk, on that memorable day in June, I believe God Himself united our hearts in indissoluble bonds of true affection…From that time our friendship grew and ripened into truest love.”^[xi]

A few weeks later on the occasion of their engagement she wrote, “I knelt before God and praised Him with happy tears, for His great mercy in giving me the love of so good a man.”^[xii]

Charles and Susannah were married on January 8, 1856.  The Lord blessed them with twin sons; Charles and Thomas. Both of who went on to serve the Lord.

H.L. Wayland wrote of Mrs. Spurgeon that she was “invaluable in the molding of her husband’s character and life, so that he could never have been what he was without her.” (From Charles Spurgeon, His Faith and Works.)

The Spurgeon home, though afflicted with the sickness of Mrs. Spurgeon and the very busy life of Charles, was nevertheless a happy home where God was worshipped and all of life was enjoyed.  The home was a place of study, hospitality, refreshment and play.

Spurgeon wrote of his sons, “It was a great joy to me when my sons were born, but it was an infinitely surpassing joy as they told me they had sought the Savior.  To pray with them, to point them yet more fully to Christ, to hear the story of their spiritual troubles, and to help them out of the spiritual difficulties was an intense satisfaction for me.”^[xiii]

He wrote of family worship in his home.  “When my father was absent preaching the gospel, my mother always filled his place at the family altar.  And in my own family, if I have been absent, and my dear wife has been ill, my sons, while yet boys, would not hesitate to read the Scriptures and pray.  We could not have a house without prayer.”^[xiv]

 

Specific Application on Parenting and Family Worship

Spurgeon is rightly remembered for his vast and influential public ministry.  However, behind his regular work as Pastor of the Metropolitan Tabernacle, his itinerant ministry, the Pastor’s College, orphanages and the many other organizations that he was responsible for was a man who was fully engaged in leading his family to worship God.  He had a deep love in his heart for all children.  This is evident in his establishment and participation in the life of the orphanages and his tender heart towards boys and girls.     His chief concern for children is evident in a letter that he wrote to the children of Pastors in 1889.

My dear____, I was, a little while ago, at a meeting for prayer, where

a large number of ministers were gathered.  The subject of prayer

was, “Our Children.”  It soon brought tears to my eyes to hear those good

fathers pleading with God for their sons and daughters.  As the went on

entreating the Lord to save their families, my heart seemed ready to

burst with strong desire that it might be even so. Then I thought, I will

write to those sons and daughters and remind them of their parent’s

prayers.

Dear_____, you are highly privileged in having parents who pray for

you.  Your name is known in the courts of heaven.  Your case has been

laid before the throne of God.  Do you pray for yourself?  If you do not

do so, why not?  If other people value your soul, can it be right for you

to neglect it?  All the entreaties and wrestling’s of your father will avail

you nothing if you never seek the Lord yourself.  You know this.

You do not intend to cause grief to dear mother and father; but you do

so.  So long as you are not saved, they can never rest.  However, obedient

and sweet and kind you may be, they will never be content

until you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and so find everlasting salvation.

Think of this.  Remember how much you have already sinned and none

can wash you but Jesus.  When you grow up you may become very sinful,

and none can change your nature and make you holy but the Lord Jesus,

through His Spirit.

You need what father and mother seek for you, and you need it now.

Why not seek it at once?  I heard a father say, ‘Lord save our children,

and save them young.’  It is never too soon to be safe; never too soon to

be happy; never too soon to be holy; Jesus loves to receive the very young.

You cannot save yourself, but the great Lord Jesus can save you.

Ask Him to do it… Then trust in Jesus to

save you.  He can do it, for He died and rose again, that, ‘whosoever

believeth in Him might not perish, but have everlasting life.  Come and

tell Jesus you have sinned; seek forgiveness; trust in Him for it, and be

sure you are saved.

Then imitate our Lord.  Be at home what Jesus was at Nazareth; yours

will be a happy home, and your dear father and mother will feel that the

dearest wish of their hearts has been granted them.

I pray that you think of heaven and hell; for in one of those places you

will live forever.  Meet me in heaven!  Meet me at the mercy-seat. Run

upstairs, and pray to the great Father, through Jesus Christ.

Yours very lovingly,

C.H. Spurgeon^[xv]

 

It is our objective to learn principles from the life of Charles Spurgeon about parenting and family life.  In the brief sketch of the particular episodes in Spurgeon’s life that we have considered we can learn much about his philosophy of parenting and family life.

 

First consider some truths from his letter to children.

1.  It a great blessing for a child to have Christian parents whom pray for them.  …You  are privileged in having parents who pray for you. Pray for your children!

2.  Children should seek God by praying for themselves. …If other people value your soul, can it be right for you to neglect it? Encourage your children to seek God.

3.  A Christian parent’s chief concern is the salvation of their children. So long as you are not saved, they (parents) can never rest.  Share the gospel with your children.

4.  Only Christ can save sinners.  …None can change your nature and make you holy but the Lord Jesus through His Spirit.  Neither parents nor children can save themselves or others. Cry out to God to save your children.

5.  If one will ask Jesus to save them and trust Jesus to save them then He will save them.  Come and tell Jesus you have sinned; seek forgiveness; trust in Him for it, and be sure that you are saved.

6.  Today is the day of salvation.  Spurgeon urged young people to seek salvation, “at once.”  He then quoted a father’s prayer; Lord save our children and save them young.

7.  Every person will spend eternity in either heaven or hell.  I pray you to think of heaven and hell; for in one of those places you will live forever.

8.  When Christ saves one then they should imitate and obey him.  Christ called on the children to trust and obey and in doing they would help to cultivate a happy home.

 

In Spurgeon’s letter to children he urges children to seek after and trust in Christ. As parents let us never forget to pray for our children.  Let us be persistent in prayer and faithful in witness.  Let the salvation of our children be a top priority in all that we do.  However, let us remember that though we share the Scripture with them, pray fervently for them and urge them to come to Christ that only Christ can save them.  We cannot save our children and they cannot save themselves.  Far from such thinking leading one to despair the effect should be the opposite.  Feeling our inability we are led to fall down and beg God to save our children.  The faithful parent, reminded of this great truth, intercedes for his children to the great King of Heaven.  Let us minister knowing that God uses the means of His word and prayer in the salvation of the lost.  He uses the preaching of the Word to bring sinners to the Savior.  And we might imply from Spurgeon’s letter that it is a wise thing for a godly parent to talk often to their children of heaven and hell.

Spurgeon gave a chilling warning to parents when he said, “I pray you so live, that when you stand over your child’s dead body, you may never hear a voice coming up from the clay, ‘Father, your negligence was my destruction. Mother, your prayerlessness was the instrument of my damnation.’”^[xvi]

Of his own children he said, “The greatest desire of my heart for my sons was that they might become servants of God. I never wished for them that they might be great or rich, but, oh, if they would but give their young hearts to Jesus!  This I prayed for most heartily. It was one of the happiest nights of my life when I baptized them on profession of their faith.”^[xvii]

Spurgeon believed that children could indeed learn about Christ and deep theology at a young age.  He said, “I can bear witness that children can understand the Scriptures; for I am sure that, when but a child, I could have discussed many a knotty point of controversial theology, having heard both sides of the question freely stated among my father’s circle of friends.”^[xviii]

The Bible certainly bears testimony of this.

When Mary was but a young lady (perhaps her age was between 12-18) she praised God with the deepest of knowledge of the Old Testament (Luke 1:46-55).

We remember the words of Paul to Timothy; “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise unto salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:14-15 ESV).

What else can we learn from the Bible and from Spurgeon’s teaching about parenting and family worship?

1.  Expose children to the truth from the time that they are infants.
2.  Read the Scriptures to your children (and with your children) and plead for their souls.
3.  If your children perish let it not be because you kept them ignorant of the truth.  Do not hide God from those that are entrusted to your care (Psalm 78:1-4).
4.  Have confidence that God can use His Word to touch young hearts.  Children can learn truth.

“Home Worship and the Use of the Bible in The Home,” a book that is now very rare, was co-authored by Spurgeon

The book was advertised as “A practical method of using Scripture and explanation for systematic study of the Bible by subjects for readings suited to every special need, and for ready reference.”  The advertisement continued, “The work commends itself as furnishing an entirely practical method by which families, as they gather at their own firesides, may accomplish a thorough course of Bible study, with some central thought made prominent for each day.  The means are thus at hand for renewing in more effective form, the grand old custom, so honored and blessed of God in days past, of religious education in the home.  These short attractive readings–requiring but a very short time for each, are admirably adapted to the few minutes which every Christian family has already set apart for worship.”^[xix]

From this advertisement we might deduce further important helps for family life.

1.  Family Worship should be a regular part of every home.  In Spurgeon’s day, among Christians it was assumed that Christians would practice family worship though, it was recognized that in many homes, it was neglected.
2.  Family Worship should be a practical study and application of the Scriptures and include family prayer.
3.  Family Worship should normally be brief.  In the midst of busy days family worship is nevertheless to be a priority.  Fifteen minutes a day, used wisely, can make a tremendous difference for God’s glory and your family’s good.

 

Concluding Thoughts

Charles Spurgeon was a giant among men.  He trusted his Lord, disciplined his mind, and was faithful in all of his duties including the leadership of his family.

It was alarming to many Pastors in history when there would be a decline of family worship.  Each home was to be a “little church.”  And in that church (not a replacement for corporate worship) God was to be worshipped.  This would normally include the reading of Scripture with some brief explanation; prayer and often a hymn would be sung.  When a family gathers to read the Bible and pray they are being exposed to the means that God always uses when he is going to save one from their sins and transform their lives.

The letter from Spurgeon to children, earlier quoted, is fitting as part of our conclusion.  He exhorted the children to Meet me in heaven.  Meet me at once at the mercy-seat.  Run upstairs and pray to the great Father, through Christ Jesus.

The last public act in his ministry was to call out the hymn to close a service on January 17, 1892.  One of the verses reads:

O Christ! He is the fountain,

The deep sweet well of love;

The streams on earth I’ve tasted,

More deep I’ll drink above:

There to an ocean fullness

His mercy doth expand,

And glory, glory dwelleth

In Immanuel’s land.^[xx]

During one of Spurgeon’s visits to the orphanages he and a friend met with a young boy who was near to death. Shindler recounts the story,  “We went into the cool and sweet chamber, and there lay the boy.  He was very much excited when he saw Mr. Spurgeon.  The great preacher sat by his side and holding the boy’s hand in his, he said,

“ ‘ Well, my dear boy, you have some precious promises all around the room.  Now, dear child, you are going to die, and you are very tired lying here, and soon you will be free from all pain, and you will be at rest… Ah, my dear boy, it seems hard for you to be here all day in pain, and to cough all night.  Do you love Jesus?’

“ ‘Yes.’

“ ‘Jesus loves you.  He bought you with His precious blood, and He knows what is best for you.  It seems hard for you to be here and listen to the shouts of the healthy boys outside at play.  But soon Jesus will take you home, and then He will tell you the reason, and you will be so glad.’

“Then, laying his hand on the boy, he said, ‘O Jesus, Master, this dear child is reaching out his thin hand to find Thine!  Touch him, dear Savior, with Thy living, warm clasp.  Lift him as he passes the cold river, that his feet be not chilled by the water of death; take him home in Thine own good time.  Comfort and cherish him till that good time comes.  Show him Thyself as he lies here, and let him see Thee and know Thee more and more as his loving Savior.’

“After a moment’s pause he said, ‘Now, dear boy, is there anything you would like?  Would you like a canary in a cage to hear him sing in the morning?  Nurse, see that he has a canary tomorrow mourning.  Good-by, my dear boy: you will see the Savior, perhaps, before I shall!’”

One said of Spurgeon, “I have seen Mr. Spurgeon holding by his power sixty-five hundred people in breathless interest; I knew him as a great man universally esteemed and beloved; but as he sat by the bedside of a dying child,…he was to me a greater and grander man than when swaying the mighty multitude at his will.”^[xxi]

On January 31, 1892 Charles Haddon Spurgeon went to Immanuel’s land to be with the Christ that he loved and preached and shared with children.

 

Ray Rhodes is President of Nourished in the Word Ministries where he teaches for Bible conferences and retreats.  He has written seven books on marriage and family life. Ray and his wife Lori have six daughters and live in North Georgia.  To schedule Ray to speak at your church or event email him at [email protected] 

[Editor’s note: Original URLs (links) referenced in this article are no longer valid, so the links have been removed.]