How to Be Single, Sexual, Spiritual and Sane: A Different Christian Perspective by Steve R. Bierly seeks to inform readers on Biblical teachings about human sexuality and how to address natural urges and feelings that come with attraction to the opposite sex.
Bierly contends that mainstream Christian teaching in the area of sexual purity is impractical and demonstrates a misinterpretation of scripture. Bierly states that such guidance often leads young people into an unsustainable cycle of perfection and guilt, one that can lead to frustration and eventually an outright rejection of Christian principles.
According to Bierly, a better understanding of the Bible reveals that God hasn’t given a “one size fits all” set of rules but has instead communicated important general principles. Bierly notes that those principles, combined with sound judgment, allow individuals to live lives that honor God without requiring perfection.
“When I was single, none of the advice that well-intentioned Christians gave seemed to work when it came to answering the question of how to honor God in the area of sexuality,” Bierly says. “Christian singles can be free to please God and yet explore and enjoy their sexuality within healthy, God-given limits.”
Bierly suggests that Christian singles in a committed relationship can enjoy physical intimacy, like kissing or hugging, while reserving intercourse for marriage.
Bierly argues that God has called some believers to remain single and some to get married and neither of these groups should feel like second-class citizens in a church. The book also explains that the Bible permits physical affection in the context of a serious relationship and does not equate having strong feelings for someone with idolatry.
About the Author
Steve R. Bierly is a writer and ordained pastor. A frequent columnist and contributor to magazines and newsletters, he is also the author of Help For The Small Church Pastor: Unlocking The Potential of Your Congregation and How To Thrive As A Small Church Pastor: A Guide To Spiritual and Emotional Well-Being. Today, Bierly serves the American Reformed Church in Hull.